It feels like I’m the raincloud, just hovering over the world and making everybody miserable. Like my sadness and my mess is just leaking out of me infecting everyone around me. I go from just dumping everything to isolating and only one of those options seem ‘safe’. I gotta be so miserable to be around. But I’ve kinda sorta have done better, just trying to process everything by myself. But at the same time, I’m not. I don’t know. I seem to burden the least amount when I’m numb. Even if the few I consider close could scream until they’re blue in the face that […]

I’m in that period where things go by fast. The work week goes by fast but so does my weekend. That’s the last thing I want. To become comfortable with this miserable situation. 17 weeks. I’m 1/3 of the way done. Please please please tell me I’m at least 1/3 of the way done. I’ve gotten a handful of interviews for jobs. I think they went ok-ish. Not amazing, but ok. I’ve felt better about other interviews for jobs I didn’t end up getting so it’s hard to be excited for it. I’ve also […]

Is Equality Possible in a human world?

I am deeply unhappy with humans.
I am deeply unhappy with this world.
I am deeply unhappy with the unfairness and injustices at life.
I am deeply unhappy with all the natural suffering in life (disease, bad health etc).
I am deeply unhappy with all the man-made suffering in life.

There’s lots more but too much to type
-_-

Happiness is _________
Fill in the blank

I loved you more than my own life…
but I chose your peace over my presence

Logan’s Run is about a future society where people live perfectly, with all the pleasures available, enough food & toys & fun for everyone until age 30 when they’re “renewed”. Although they believe renewal means transference to a newborn body, it’s actually just plain death. But aside from that, everyone is blissfully happy.

I first saw the movie when I was a kid, loved it, but I didn’t understand any of the social statements being made. Now that I’m past my “renewal” date, I totally get it.

All the world’s problems are caused by people over the age of 30. To be specific, all our politicians, lawmakers, […]

How much of “Luck” in one’s life is due to one’s economic status?

I’m tired of everyone saying it’s all about intelligence and hard work because it’s not. Or one’s “mindset.” You can have the most “positive mindset” in the world, but if you’re born in the slums of India, or in the deserts Africa, or in Gaza- your life is pretty much screwed. Telling us life is all due to how smart or how hard you work or your mindset is just an excuse for ppl to tell you the reason you “failed” is bc of you, and NOT bc of systemic […]

A bit of a read but a decent article on “luck”

https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/is-luck-real-meaning-philosopher-lee-john-whittington.html

I’m tired of all these limitations. I can imagine a better world.

What ONE power would you want?

Examples
-ability to fly
-invisibility
-mind control
-luck
-be able to speak any human language
-be able to speak to any animal
-a wallet that produces unlimited money
-super healing / never be sick
-instant self death
-instant death to anyone you want
-be super beautiful
-be rich and famous
-have some kind of talent- singing/dancing/drawing/etc
-etc-

“Discoveries so disturbing scientists stopped studying them”:

Who else is all alone here? By that I mean you don’t have a significant other, you don’t have family that cares about you, and you don’t have real genuine friends.

I feel all alone in this world. It’s literally “Me Against The World.”

I got sloppy. After I cut, I put the knife in the closet to dry (too much of a risk to leave my room to clean it), then put it back safe where I’ve hidden it. But I forgot it. And this time, my dear mother found it while poking around my room for the fifteen millionth time. Now my parents are demanding to see my arms, which I can’t do, and I’m fairly certain this is going to end in an involuntary hospitalization and a suicide. What wonderful situations I find myself in…

Whelps, there’s no water currently where I’m at. Toilet doesn’t work either. Yet another reason to hate this place.

Update- so water is back. Thankfully it didn’t last that long this time. I’ve had my water, toilet, and shower be out for days to over a week.

What do you think about these thoughts: I will achieve mostly nothing in life therefore life is not worth living.

February is almost here. That means I’m almost 1/3 of the way done. Or at least I hope I am. I’m setting myself up for the biggest god damn punchline if I can’t find a job before June. I can’t go back to being jobless, so I’ll have to accept a permanent position. A bullet to the brain would be a better solution honestly. I’ve spent the last 4 weeks non stop applying for jobs. Today was the first day in weeks where I didn’t either look for one or apply. I’ve only heard back from a […]

Hippocratic AI raises $141M to staff hospitals with clinical AI agents

Story Partners with Stability AI to Empower Open-Source Innovation for Creators and Developers

Meanwhile, Kristina Dulaney, RN, PMH-C, the founder of Cherished Mom, an organization dedicated to solving maternal mental health challenges, helped to create an AI agent that’s focused on helping new mothers navigate such problems with postpartum mental health assessments and depression screening. The startup was initially focused on creating generative AI chatbots to support clinicians and other healthcare professionals, but has since switched its focus to patients themselves. Its most advanced models take […]

The 7th year anniversary of the day I committed my crimes recently passed, so I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately. I did kind of a stupid thing and read the news stories that they wrote about it. Its funny how people remember the same event differently.

Here’s what happened: One night, I was suicidal and homicidal at the same time. Was drinking and abusing  Adderall simultaneously. Didn’t sleep at all that night. And somewhere along the line, I decided to kill myself. But I was angry at some classmates for calling me a ****** all the time and antagonizing me to no end (me […]

there really is always something going wrong. I’m just tired of dealing with every new thing that hits me in the face. I’m tired of dealing with the people who tore me apart with smiles on their faces. I’m just so tired